As Martin and Lawrence point out on p. 177, "We tend to stereotype those who are most different from ourselves because we understand them less - a rule that holds true for differences in type as well as for differences in culture, race, and other characteristics." In my last post I mentioned that people whose personality preferences are the opposite of ours can seem foreign to us, just as E. T. did to Elliott at the beginning of the classic 1982 movie, E. T. the Extra - Terrestrial. Thus the danger of stereotyping such people is great.
According to Lawrence and Martin, stereotyping people with personality preferences (such as Introversion or Extraversion) which are opposite to ours takes place because we project onto them our own perception of and way of handling a particular type of situation. It does not occur to us that their way of becoming energized, taking in information, making decisions, and orienting to the outer world may be the opposite of our way of doing so. Since their values seem so different from ours, it is tempting to look down on what we presume to be their motives or level of maturity, or lack thereof. Another way of putting this is that we project onto others the motivations that would cause us to behave a certain way, not realizing that the same behavior could be caused by the opposite motivations in someone else.
For instance, people who prefer to use Introversion tend to want their thoughts fully formed before sharing them, while those who prefer to use Extraversion are not only able to complete their thoughts by sharing them with others, but even to draw energy from doing so. Those who prefer Introversion would probably feel shallow if they thought out loud, sharing incomplete thoughts. Thus they may tend to assume that anyone who does so is shallow. They probably don't realize that someone who prefers Extraversion is helped to form and clarify his or her thoughts by sharing them with others, and so they project onto those who prefer Extraversion what such behavior would indicate in themselves. Thus a stereotype is born that those who prefer Extraversion are shallow.
Perhaps a contributing factor to their thinking out loud is that those who prefer Extraversion tend to feel awkward with silence, which they often feel compelled to fill. They may tend to assume that everyone else also feels uncomfortable with long pauses during conversations. It may not occur to them that those who prefer Introversion usually find silence, which they use to complete their thoughts before they speak, comfortable and even energizing. So they project onto those who prefer Introversion what would be their own discomfort with silence in social situations. Thus a stereotype is born that those who prefer Introversion are socially awkward and/or have little to say.
Once we understand that stereotyping people whose personality preferences differ from ours is a serious problem and a trap that we all fall into at times, how do we know when we have been guilty of it? Language provides a clue, especially the use of terms such as always and never. For example, phrases such as "Extraverts never..." or "Introverts always..." show that an assumption is being made about a whole group of people, without regard to the characteristics of individual members of that group and the other factors in their lives besides personality type preferences which make them unique. These could include factors such as family background, work experience, skills, desires, etc.
It's important to remember that stereotyping is not always directed at others. People sometimes stereotype themselves because they believe the stereotypes that others have of them. Stereotyping is probably the culprit when someone uses type as an excuse for behavior, including his or her own. "I (he, she) wouldn't be any good at that since I'm (he's, she's) an Extravert (Introvert)", for instance. Another harmful way stereotyping can be directed at oneself rather than or in addition to others is when someone feels there is something wrong with his or her or someone else's type preferences which therefore must be changed. This indicates a lack of understanding and appreciation of the beauty and gifts of type and the fact that all type preferences are good and healthy.
Often people who feel this way have a preference for Introversion, or they prefer Extraversion and are concerned about someone who prefers Introversion. Those who engage in such stereotyping may have been misled by all the talk often heard in our society, or by individuals in their lives, portraying and stereotyping Introversion as bad and unhealthy, and Extraversion as good and healthy, and thus they may mistakenly assume that anyone who prefers Introversion should change.
An extreme case of such stereotyping occurred about three years ago when the American Psychiatric Association almost included Introversion in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) as a contributing factor in some personality disorders. Fortunately it wasn't included because, of course, Introversion is an indicator of normal personality just as Extraversion is. There is no reason for anyone to feel that a preference for Introversion needs to be changed, since it refers to how we derive our mental energy and has nothing to do with mental health. The fact that the American Psychiatric Association needed to be reminded of this should serve as a wake-up call for the rest of us. Since our society is so full of personality stereotypes and misinformation, this reminder that Introversion and Extraversion are both normal personality preferences is necessary for everyone.
The problem of stereotyping is clear. Now how about the solution? What can we do to prevent the unhelpful intrusion of stereotyping into our lives? One way to ward it off is to learn as much as possible about the various personality preferences described in the MBTI(R) tool, while keeping firmly in mind that they do not explain everything about the uniqueness of human beings. It is also very helpful to keep in mind that due to type or other factors, other people's motivations may be the opposite of ours.
We also need to remember that people whose preferences are the opposite of ours aren't deliberately trying to get on our nerves. Usually they are just being themselves. When it seems as if they are deliberately trying to annoy us, it can help to spend some time focusing on qualities they have which we can enjoy and appreciate. So if your preference is for Extraversion, what do you appreciate about those with a preference for Introversion? What do those of you with a preference for Introversion appreciate about the Extraverted people in your lives?
Writing this post has opened my eyes to my own tendency to stereotype and my need to guard against it. I have only covered the tip of the iceberg of how stereotyping manifests itself between people who prefer Introversion and Extraversion, and have not covered the other six personality preferences (Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, Feeling, Judging and Perceiving) at all! What stereotypes have you noticed, either on the receiving end or in your own attitude toward people whose personality preferences are different from yours? What stereotypes would you like to know more about?
While it is written for MBTI practitioners, I highly encourage anyone interested in stereotyping to look at Chapter 9 in:
Lawrence, Gordon, and Charles Martin. Building People, Building Programs. Gainesville, Fl: Center for
Applications of Psychological Type, 2007.
This very helpful book may be ordered from the publisher at www.capt.org for $39.95. And as I said at the beginning of this post, the insights on personality stereotyping you will gain from Chapter 9 just might be worth the price of the book and then some!